Fear!

Hey guys how are you, God March is nearly finished Easter is is nearly here, can you believe it where is the time going? Thanks for joining me again this week! I appreciate it. This weeks blog has some trigger warnings. Please like, share, comment, oh yeah hit that follow button.

What is fear why do we feel afraid sometimes? How do we abolish fear? How do we excel afraid?

What is fear?

It’s being scared, of something or someone, it doesn’t make you weak it doesn’t make you less of a person to be afraid! Sometimes fear keeps us alive it makes our natural instincts of self preservation, kick in. To say your never Afraid which a lot of us do just in not true, we have all and will all experience this emotion it’s comes part and parcel with life.

When is fear dangerous to us and our progression?

Simple when we don’t acknowledge what is causing us to be scared why are YOU AFRAID? WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF ? If you don’t pin point what the source is then it is dangerous and if left unchecked it can destroy us and the people around us. When am scared sometimes I get angry and frustrated with myself I’ve learnt to let that go and accept the emotion and then deal with the root cause of my anxieties.

When we are close to someone sometimes we do take things out on them without even noticing because of our own insecurities. I have had a few moments in my life where fear controlled the way I spoke. The fear of being rejected by the people I love, not being accepted.

The fear of loosing someone I love got me abused in my relationship mentally, emotionally and physically sometimes. Being petrified helped me to save my own life it helped me to run as far away from my abuser as humanly possible.

How do we stop being Petrified?

We confront the problem head on I had to let go of all the things I was feeling, the hate the anger then I confronted my Phobias, I stopped thinking of what was wrong with my baby and all that was right how she smiles how she cries.

The way she can speak at 1years old. I didn’t care anymore that we attended all our appointments at the hospitals alone as this is our journey, this is her story, from her mother’s eyes. The pains I feeling in my stomach I am thankful for them now by accepting that it will always be there my worry my wanting to protect her that’s me being a mum not me over reacting or under reacting we all deal with things differently. ( we still go to our appointments alone).

Am no longer hooked on me being a schizophrenic how it’s makes me look to others or how inadequate I am, now I embrace my mental illness and took control am not afraid of myself anymore. That took years of work as somethings require constant work, being flexible helps when self transformation my worst fear as a mother is my children experiencing the abuse, I went through I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop my baby girls from sexual abuse like I did, for this reasons I wanted only sons. I am not a failure, am a protector, a nurturing mother and I am no longer doubting my self so now we live as fear is death if left un-checked. I want to live I want to be fulfilled in my life so I speak I refuse to give power over my emotions to others. When the voices come or I see things that aren’t there (hallucinations ) I remember how hard I have worked to get where I am Telling myself all through my episodes I am still me this isn’t real I repeat the over and over to myself until my mind realises what’s happening is just apart of my condition nothing to be Adair’s of Crystal I say it will pass.

I am now not ashamed to cry as this is my way of release. Much better than self harm, which was my go too way to release what ever I was feeling I would burn myself or scratch my skin until I bleed now I don’t do that as I love me.

Can you grow while afraid 😱

No you can’t but it can be your drive toward growth. Fear stops our growth, stunts the self progression process you will not excel scared, because there’s risk involved in evaluation and self progression sacrifices will have to be made, which requires strength not fear. Conviction, no hiding, confronting. I have wanted to die because of my past experiences with child sexual abuse, I’ve hated myself because of my mental health conditions. I have learnt to let go now am free now I love me I see the beauty in me.

I refuse to let others control and dictate the way I live my life. So no fear stops your progression to self elevation and self acceptance. We can not progress in fear as to get to your destination requires strength, resilience and most importantly self belief when afraid we hide from the support that’s being offered to help us heal and grow.

When scared we stop ourselves from seeing our self worth putting limits on what we expect from ourselves. So in order to transform, to achieve OUR goals we much learn to LET go and take the leap of faith FOR YOU.

Affirmation to Abolish fear!

I am strong .

I will not live in fear.

I trust me to make the right choices for me.

Fear of loss has no control over me.

I am not scared of myself I accept myself.

I will be free.

Freedom of fear is my right.

I use the power within to abolish all feelings of insecurities.

I give myself permission to heal.

I am ready for the next stage of my transition.

Am beautiful and powerful.

Fear is a state of mind.

I choose happiness, peace and safety.

Leave me a comment or send me a message to let me know how you deal with FEAR? Please share this post with someone who needs to know they are enough!