Hope all is well. Firstly let me say thanks for joining me this week, it’s nearly the end of the month, this crazy but beautiful year has nearly reached it’s end. Please follow, like comment and share T.I.A 💋
This week I’ll be speaking about control and protection within our relationships. (TRIGGER WARNING). To be controlled by another person is not to be mistaken for protectiveness! Now with that being said let’s move forward.
Entering a relationship we are individuals (2 becoming 1), at the start we fall for the smallest things in our partners, the colour of his eyes, the way she smiles, how he smells, the way she dresses. We are socialising with family and friends outside the relationship enjoying our time apart while knowing we are together. A healthy relationship maintains a balance between time spent together as much as time spent apart. If a flower is watered too much it will drown equally too much sun light will dehydrate the plant.
Do not suffocate each other you are allowed, ( it is vital to the health of your relationship to have a social life) to spend time with others enjoying your recreational activities and hobbies.
What is Control?
The means to influence or direct the behaviour of something or someone. No it’s not ok for your spouse, family or friends to restrict/ dictate how or whom you speak too. Forms of control/Abuse. Physical, emotional, financial and mental. Let’s take look into each shall we.
Physical & Financial
Physical violence is used to stop you from doing or expressing your views. Someone is physically making you stay at home you can not leave they have taken the keys hindering or prohibiting you from the duties or plans you made. Also known as Physical Abuse. Your money isn’t yours, every penny spent has to be approved by the person your with, often this is your own money, sometimes being taken without Your permission. This happens to the elderly being Finically abused and ta advantage of. Becoming financially unstable with no control over your income.
Emotional & Mental
Emotional Abuse/ Control, is used to manipulate you into making the choices your abusers want. It is hard to spot especially as there are no marks or bruises but the trauma can sometimes last a life time. Using all you have been through and your insecurities, making you feel alone so you become dependent and almost childlike needing approval for everything you do, this is 9 out of 10 times met with disapproval not satisfaction. Mental abuse cause people to take their own lives, children, men and women. Repeating all you shared to get into your head and break you down causing isolation,depression, and anxiety. Feeling worthless because someone is taking all you have, sometimes manipulation is used talking about you to your friends and family. Betrayal and discrediting of others this is used to mentally abuse a person.
Protecting!
Someone who loves you will protect YOU. They will not force situations that causes discomfort nor try to deceive. Expect he or she to support, encourage and give reassurance when needed. Understanding each other and the importance of space and the value of your relationships will be a attribute of valuable partner yes they will want to protect you from harm equally they will and should not cause you harm.
DV Study Please Read.
Motherhood No Instructions 